Mom Asks Magazine If She Should Buy 13-Year-Old Trans Kid a Sex Toy


Slate Magazine’s sex column received an unusual question from a mother asking whether she should purchase her 13-year-old transgender child a sex toy.

The column commences with the headline and question: “My 13-Year-Old Son Wants Me to Buy Him a Sex Toy.

Then, the mother begins, “My 13-year-old trans son recently told me that a friend’s mom gave him, the friend (also trans), a vibrator.”

She continued, “I know my kid thinks his friend’s mom is generally wacky and that she does not support her son being transgender and is generally ultra-religious, so I said something like, “Wow, that surprises me, and it seems kind of intrusive to get that from your mom.”’

The mother then explains, “I was actually wondering if this was some kind of don’t-be-trans thing from the mom—like, clitorises are great! Here, have a vibrator! Look! Fun! I had no idea where this conversation was going.”

The mother then dives into the exchange she had with her child:

My son replied, “Yeah.” Then he went on, “Well, I guess it’s not illegal or anything. I guess it wouldn’t be hard to get one, even for a kid. They could probably figure it out … ” I wasn’t sure where all this was going, so I said again, “It seems like a weird thing for a mom to give a kid out of nowhere. I guess if a kid asked me for one, I’d get it for them.” At which point my kid made that pleading I-want-a-puppy face, and I said, “You want a vibrator?” And he said, “Yeah,” and I said, “OK, I’ll get you one.” So my questions are, is there any reason a 13-year-old shouldn’t have a vibrator? I can’t think of any special health hazard or anything—is there one? I guess I’m actually kind of happy he’s feeling that accepting of his body since I know with dysphoria, for a long time, he just felt like everything “down there” on him was gross and wrong. Am I crazy to think this whole thing is good, maybe? Am I crazy to get my kid a vibrator if he wants one?

The columnist then replied to the mother, explaining that it was natural for a teenager to masturbate and then says, “By providing a vibrator, you are not merely being sex-positive; you’re fostering efficiency. That is good parenting, if you ask me.”

He then directs the mother to a First Amendment lawyer, before adding a quote from the same lawyer, who said, “If a law enforcement agency wanted to prohibit the gifting of a toy to one’s child, I think there are significant constitutional issues that could be implicated in terms of family privacy rights.”

The column made social media users feel uncomfortable, given the highly sexual nature of the post.

More mothers have entered the media promoting their transgender children in recent years as the practice has become increasingly normalized.